Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

What is Incest

Incest is sexual abuse or sexual contact between relatives within the immediate and extended family. It can also include people who are considered family members, although there is no blood relation e.g. close friends termed aunt or uncle.

Facts:

• Incest is depriving a child of the right to a loving, nonsexual relationship with a family member.
• Incest happens in the family. It happens in families from all classes, races, economic, and social backgrounds.
• Incest is the adult’s responsibility, no matter who initiates the behaviour.
• A New Zealand study of 3000 women found that sexual abuse within the family (‘incest’), occurred for 12% of those sampled or 1 in 8 women. Half of those survivors were abused by a close family member living in the same household.

Incest can be particularly harmful because of the close relationship the offender has with the victim. Incest often shatters a trusting relationship and usually involves the abuse of power where the abuser manipulates a child using threats, coercion, abuse hidden within ‘play’ and sometimes force. The abuser may try to get the child to keep it a secret. Children are innocent and trusting they are often emotionally or physically dependant on the person who is abusing them and they are often easily persuaded to keep the abuse a secret.

Offenders within families are often known to abuse more than one person and the abuse can sometimes happen over different generations of family members.  on the person who is abusing them and they are often easily persuaded to keep the abuse a secret.

Offenders within families are often known to abuse more than one person and the abuse can sometimes happen over different generations of family members.

Talking about the Abuse

Many survivors, estimates are as high as 50%, do not remember the abuse until years after it has occurred. Usually something in adulthood will trigger the memory. Some are never able to clearly recall the abuse.

Statistics from the Ministry of Women’s Affairs 2009 show that survivors of incest are less likely to report their abuse to the police because of:

• A fear of not being believed
• The effect on the family
• Shame
• Fear of the offender
• Felt it was their fault
• Relationship with the offender
• Didn’t think it was a crime (at the time) or unaware that incest isn’t something that happens in every family and shouldn’t be happening to them.

Effects

Everyone reacts differently. Here are some of the long term feelings and reactions people may have:

• Anger
• Fear and anxiety
• Guilt and self blame
• Depression
• Flashbacks and hallucinations
• Insecurity
• Shame
• Developing a negative self-image
• Feeling powerless, not trusting people, feeling cut off from others, irritability and mood swings or sleep disturbances.
• Difficulty in forming satisfying sexual relationships
• Self destructive behaviours such as eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, self harm, unsafe sex, sexual dysfunction, personality disorders, reckless driving, shoplifting or other crimes.
• Physical effects like injuries STI’s (Sexually transmitted Infections) or pregnancy.

Any sexual behaviour with someone under 16 is illegal.

Healing and Support

Sexual abuse and rape can have a powerful impact on every aspect of people’s life; trying to cope alone can be very difficult. Ignoring it or trying to forget it happened will not make it go away. Talking about the experiences may seem scary, but it WILL help in the recovery. Because everyone is different, everyone’s path to recovery is different too. There are people to can talk to, who can support survivors of sexual violence.

How we can Help

Coping with the effects of Rape and Sexual Violence can be very difficult. Family and friends are not always able to provide the support you need. They may share feelings of the trauma that you are feeling or some may not understand how you feel. Our agency specialises in working with survivors ensuring that you receive good support, information and understanding, empowering you in your journey towards healing.

Statistics in New Zealand:

• 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are likely to be sexually abused before the age of 16.
• Every 2 hours an attack involving sexual violence is happening in NZ

Source: Rape Prevention Education website/Minister of Justice Publication Report.