Child Sexual Abuse
What is Child Sexual Abuse?
Child sexual abuse happens when a child is used by another person in a sexual way. The person is usually older then the child however some forms of sexual play between children of the same age can also be abusive. The abuse can be unwanted sexual touching; Any type of unwanted sex ( intercourse, oral, anal, objects); Being made to participate in or made to watch sexual acts such as, ‘flashing’ or pornography; Being made to listen to or participate in sexual talk; Being spied on while naked or undressing.
The abuser is almost always someone that the child or the family knows and trusts such as a grandfather, grandmother, father or step-father, brother, male cousin, uncle or family friend.
Sexual abuse typically involves the use of manipulation, threats, coercion and sometimes force. The abuser may try to get the child to keep it a secret. Children are innocent and trusting they are often emotionally or physically dependant on the person who is abusing them and they are often easily persuaded to keep the abuse a secret.
Effects and Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse can harm a child on many levels- psychologically, emotionally and physically. The effects will also depend on such things as the child’s age, gender, relationship with the abuser, the type of abuse, how long it has carried on and the reaction they received when trying to tell someone about the abuse.
Children react in different ways to sexual abuse. Some children do not show any apparent signs of distress while others show many symptoms. The typical signs listed below can happen as a result of sexual abuse:
- Emotional changes e.g. angry outbursts, sadness and crying, tantrums, insecurity, unhappiness and low self esteem.
- Signs of fear and anxiety, clinginess and unwillingness to separate from parent/s.
- Sleeping problems and frequent nightmares.
- Lack of trust.
- Changes in toileting.
- Behaviour problems at school e.g. defiance, poor concentration, disruptiveness.
- Cut off from others.
- Developing fears of certain people and places.
- adults or toys that seem unusual.
- Pain or unexplained bruises, redness, rashes or bleeding from the genitals, anus or mouth.
Dealing with Child Sexual Abuse Disclosure
It can be very hard to deal with a child who discloses abuse. You might feel hurt and shock over what the child has told you but remember the child has chosen you as a safe person to disclose to because they trust you.
It can very difficult for a child to talk about the abuse and there are many reasons why children do not tell about the abuse:
- Being too young or not having the words to describe unfamiliar acts.
- Being afraid that no one will believe them.
- Blaming themselves, feeling guilty or believing the abuse is punishment for being “bad”.
- Feeling too ashamed or embarrassed to tell.
- Feeling confused by the attention.
- Having mixed feelings about the abuse.
- Worrying about getting into trouble or getting a loved one into trouble.
- Fear of breaking up the family.
What To Do If A Child Tells About Being Sexually Abused
When a child discloses abuse their health and safety should be your immediate concern. The child may need immediate medical attention. Contact RAASC for information on medical examinations and processes. Here is a guide to help you respond appropriately when a child discloses abuse to you:
- Listen and let your child know you believe them.
- Say that you are glad that s/he told you.
- Say you are sorry that it happened.
- Tell the child it is not his/her fault.
- Tell him/her that there are people who you will need to talk to in order to get help.
- Seek professional advice.
- Find out if the child is safe from further abuse and.
- If a child is at risk from further abuse, contact RAASC, the police or Child Youth and Family services immediately.