What is Sexual Abuse

Rape is defined as sexual intercourse without consent. Consenting to sex means that you know what you are doing, you want to do it and you can stop at any time.

If a person is too drunk to decide or unaware of what’s happening to them, they can not give true consent. This is rape. Even if the rapist was drunk too, even if the victim doesn’t remember everything: taking advantage of someone who is drunk or on drugs is rape. Rape is a common form of sexual assault. It is committed in many situations — on a date, by a friend or an acquaintance, or when you think you are alone.

Sexual abuse is any behavior that is unwanted or inappropriate. It doesn’t always involve touching:

• Unwanted sexual touching.
• Any type of unwanted sex (intercourse, oral, anal, objects) also called rape.
• Being made to participate in or made to watch sexual acts such as, ‘flashing’ or pornography.
• Being made to listen to or participate in, sexual talk.
• Being spied on while naked or undressing.

Who are the offenders

People who Sexually Abuse, come from a variety of backgrounds as well as different ethnicities, income groups, age groups and sexual orientations. Sometimes perpetrators of rape don’t know that what they are doing is rape. Some of these people believe “no” can be changed to “yes" with little more pressure or force. They believe pressure is a reasonable way to get what they want.

You are not alone

Sexual violence can happen to anyone. 88% of victims knew the person who sexually abused or raped them. Nobody provokes rape no matter how they are dressed or how they were acting. Rape is an expression of power and control. Someone might justify his raping by pointing to the other person’s behaviour, but that is an excuse rather than a reason.

Rape and sexual abuse are widespread in our communities.

What are the effects

Everyone reacts differently and whatever you feel is normal. Here are some of the feelings and reactions you may have:

• Self destructive behaviors like eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, self harm, unsafe sex, reckless driving or shoplifting.
• Anger, shame, guilt and self blame, fear, disgust, anxiety, hatred, flashbacks, depression, feeling powerless, not trusting people, feeling cut off from others, shock and disbelief, irritability and mood swings or sleep disturbances.
• Physical effects like injuries STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Infections) or pregnancy.

Healing and Support

Sexual abuse and rape can have a powerful impact on every aspect of people’s life; trying to cope alone can be very difficult. Ignoring it or trying to forget it happened will not make it go away. Talking about the experiences may seem scary, but it WILL help in the recovery. Because everyone is different, everyone’s path to recovery is different too. There are people you can talk to, who can support survivors of sexual violence.

Statistics in New Zealand

• 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are likely to be sexually abused before the age of 16.
• Every 2 hours an attack involving sexual violence is happening in NZ
  Source: Rape Prevention Education website/Minister of Justice Publication Report.

How we can help?

Coping with the effects of Rape and Sexual Violence can be very difficult.

Family and friends are not always able to provide the support you need. They may share feelings of the trauma that you are feeling or some may not understand how you feel.

Our agency specialises in working with survivors ensuring that you receive good support, information and understanding . Empowering you in your healing journey.